How to Handle Rejection

In life we all tend to be a pro in something. I, personally, have become a pro at being rejected.
Typically I refrain from posts like these because I am not much a fan of being viewed as a victim and I absolutely hate when people do things for me out of pity.
But, I've been struggling with the pain that comes from rejection a lot the past month, and I know that I am not alone. I also know this pain can be one of the most hurtful pains an individual can feel and a lot people are afraid to express their pain to others. So, it is out of my desire to let others feel they're not alone and to help as many people as I can I've decided to write on this topic.

When it comes to rejection, I've experience a LOT of it over my life time. In fact, I deal with the pain of feeling rejected every single day of my life. Every single day I have to fight off the horrid thoughts that come with and rise above.

Not every day is bad but everyday I fight the demons off to some degree nonetheless. I've dealt with rejection that I've realized in the end was for the better. Rejection like, not getting the jobs I so desperately wanted; but in the end realized that they weren't the right fit for me after all and I ended up right where I was supposed to be all along. This rejections is the easiest to overcome, because with patience and a little bit of time you see the good in being rejected from something you wanted. At first it hurts, but this rejection prepares you for other rejections and allows you to see the good in a bad situation. I don't so much mind this form of rejection as I do the others.

I've dealt with the rejection that comes from a family member that should love you, reject you and disown you year after year. Rejection from family members is a type of rejection that I've yet to be able to figure out the good in. This rejection is raw, every time you are reminded of this pain you're hurt as much as you were the first time it happened. This form of rejection hurts deeply down to the core and is one I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.

Lastly, I've dealt with a form of rejection I often debate may be worse than the previous form I mentioned. This is the rejection that comes from extending your heart out to others, and letting your walls down only to have them crush you all over again. This rejection is terrible because you honestly try to put your faith in others only to come to find out they never truly cared all along. This is the most relevant form of rejection in my life at the moment and it hurts - it just hurts.

Even though I've yet to be able to figure out the good that comes from the last two forms of rejection and I have figured out ways to handle being rejected. 

1. Find Faith 
I don't know how people make it through life without faith of some form. I couldn't do it - I just couldn't. For me, it's the reminder that my Lord loves me, and has bigger plans for me that gets me through everyday. Without His love I couldn't do it. Find faith, maybe not my faith, but faith and faith alone is going to be the best and sometimes only thing that can get you through.

2. Keep Trusting in Others
Be wise and don't give your heart away easily but you have to keep trusting in others. For every 10 that have burned me and broken my heart I've gotten at least two people that I couldn't imagine my life without. Sometimes you have to sift through the dirt to find the diamonds that make life worth living. The pain of the rejection I've received from others may have burned badly but it was worth it to find the gems that I have found. If you keep the walls up you're never going to find the few good ones out there.

3. Make a Goal to Create a Strong Family of Your Own 
When you come from a life of rejection the only thing you can do is strive to be and do better than what you've come from. You're never going to be able to control what others do to you and what you've grown up in but what you can control is what you do and what your family will experience. If you're hurting from the feeling of loneliness you've got to press forward with the goal to create a family life where these problems vanish. Make it a goal to create a strong family unit of your own and do right by others when they don't do right by you.

4. Cry When You Need to Cry 
This is the hardest lesson I've had to learn and I still struggle to learn it daily. Bottling up your feelings will only hurt you more. You can't keep this pain inside, you just can't it'll eat away at you at night and will find you when you're most vulnerable. Let the pain out, just let it out and cry. Sometimes just crying and venting is all the healing you need.

Life gets hard for us all, and being rejected hurts badly but just remember to keep pressing forward. Stay hopeful, because without hope all meaning is lost. Don't spend your life suffering from the pain only to miss out on the beauty that will once come from your trials.

Why Petty Rules Are Ruining Christianity

This year I have become a pretty big Duggar fan. From a Christian stand point there is a lot of things I do agree with the Duggar's on. I agree on salvation and most basic principles they believe. But, I also disagree with the Duggar's on their cult-like attitude and their legalistic views. But, my views on the Duggar's are neither here nor there and are irrelevant to this post.

Pants Proud - I happily posted my own pants. 

Moving on, my newly found 'fandom' of the Duggars lead me to find Free Jinger. I love reading the site for a variety of reasons. I love to see how the world views Christians. I love to see misconceptions and I love learning how certain attitudes make the world feel so I know better how to approach non-believers. I genuinely enjoy learning all sides of the spectrum. And, the snark, of course has made me laugh a time or two.

Today I came across a new conversation thread titled, "Pants make women look like men from behind...". Out of boredom I opened the thread and was absolutely appalled by the blog that they were referring to.

The blog that started this thread was about how a woman thought that women in pants looked like men. She proceeded to post pictures of backsides of women as "proof" that the backside of women in pants look like men. This absolutely FLOORED me.

First off, how rude?! Really, imagine that was your backside plastered on a woman's blog telling the world that you looked like a man. Would you be mad? I would be more than upset. But, as if it wasn't enough that she creeped on women to take pictures of their butts, there are comments on the thread mentioning how lovely it was for her to post this topic. Not one of those women took the time to say, "hey, maybe you shouldn't take pictures of someone else's butt... That's a little insensitive don't you think?" (Don't worry I took the time to comment.)

As I sit at my desk, in my heathen Jeggings, I can guarantee every last one of those women would criticize me telling me that I am not honoring God. They wouldn't notice my Bible on my desk, or the Christian books surrounded by me. They wouldn't care about anything other than I have pants on and I am going to church tonight in them.

What in the world happened to that little thing called, compassion?! Or loving another like yourself? Not being a stumbling block to the unbelievers?

I find posting someone else as an example is the opposite of compassion. And I doubt she'd post a comparison of her backside in pants and a skirt because she would be embarrassed. No one wants a picture of their butt and only their butt on display. Especially when a woman is telling everyone she thinks you look like a man! That's very insensitive and not biblical. 

I seem to remember somewhere in the, oh I don't know, Bible telling us to not judge the world on it's outworld appearance but on the inward. Because God doesn't see what the world sees, He doesn't judge us on the outside but on the inside.

It's posts like this that draw people away from Christ. Yes, our body is a temple and yes we should take care of it and honor God in every way and always but it is not our job to slam others for their appearance. It's behavior like this that draws people away from Christ. It's behavior like this that makes us lose sight.

Focusing on petty rules are ruining Christianity because we're drawing people away from Christ. If I were an unbeliever and read this post I wouldn't attend church next week. I would dislike Christians a lot after this. That's so minor and yet treated so major.

Jesus LOVED a leper.  I bet the leper didn't look all so great but yet Jesus touched him and loved him as much as He loves you and He loves me. When we focus on the little petty things we lose sight of what matters. We start making rules out of our personal convictions and preferences but not out of what God has actually ordained.

We need to keep our preferences to ourselves and close relatives and friends and people that care to ask us why we do what we do. Our actions not our words need to speak louder for us.

Also, by banning pants for woman as a whole we limit the amount of light in this world. There are many activities that cannot be done in a skirt or dress. When we limit women to activities we limit the ability for them to be a light in every area of this world. We are called to love the world and tell the world about Jesus.

We're not called to post embarrassing pictures on our blogs and make people feel shameful. The Holy Spirit has the job of making us feel guilty leave it to Him.

Why Christians Struggle With Confidence

I know I have been quiet for some time... I have had a lot going on as of late. I can't promise I will be back regularly but I can promise to be back when I feel something is on my heart to write about. 

I, like many others, struggle with low self worth at times. I am not overall an unconfident individual. But there are areas in my life where I am completely lacking all confidence and my self worth is shattered. But, I, like many, have the choice to build myself up (rather, Let God build me up) and not to stay in the terrible places low self worth can take a person. 

I think the lessons that I am learning now can help other Christians. And I think, I have figured out, in part of why it is that Christians can struggle with low confidence levels and in part, how to fix it. 


As a Christian we continually read our Bibles and come across verses like:

•  Proverbs 8:13  "The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate." 

• Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

• Isaiah 2:11 "The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day." 

• Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. 

• James 4:6 "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

• Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

We read these verses and then try to run away from pride. We see how much God hates it so much and we run as far as we can. But sometimes, we run so far, that we run ourselves into a pit of no self confidence. 

I could list a ton more verses that are about pride. There are well over 50 verses warning us strongly about pride and how God hates, yes hates, pride. We see in other verses how God destroy's the proud and raises up the humble. 

**I challenge you to personally read over all the verses to do with pride and humility after reading this post, but for now the ones I've provided will suffice. **


When we come across verses telling us God hates something, we should immediately stop, reflect, repent, pray and make sure those qualities aren't found in our hearts. 
When we read about how much God hates pride, and loves the humble and meek we automatically set out to rid ourselves of all pride and increase humbleness. Most times we set out on this task, without any clue as to what pride means. And as a result, we crush our confidence which is the exact opposite of what God wants us to do. 

To understand pride, we must first know the definition of pride. According to Merriam-Websters Dictionary Pride is defined as: (noun) 
1.:a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people

2.: a feeling that you are more important or better than other people

Confidence however, is defined as: (non) 

1.: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something

2.: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something

3.: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true

Clearly, the two definitions are different, yet on our quests to rid ourselves of pride we Christians often strip ourselves of confidence for fear that we're erring on the side of pride. 

When a difficult situation arises it's okay to think; "I can handle this because, I have God on my side and when I am weak He is strong. I am confident that I can handle this situation because Christ believes in me and through Him I can do all things" 

It is not okay to think;  "I know I can handle this situation because I am capable because I am awesome and I can do everything because I have prepared myself for this." 

Pride and confidence are two different things that I feel Christians often confuse for the same thing. Confidence is a good thing and we shouldn't fear it when we internally are feeling confident. How do I know it's a good thing, because God has told me, and you and the world over and over again. 

• Hebrews 10:35-36 "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised."
• Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
• Proverbs 3:26 For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught."
• Psalm 139:13-14 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."

You see, God has great thoughts of us. HE LOVES YOU, say that aloud. He does, He loves you, He loves me, He loves us all equally. His thoughts of us are good. We are to strive to be like Jesus, and if Christ believes in us we should believe in us. We should know that we can be confident because we are confident in the one that made us, the one that made us wonderfully. 

It is okay to be confident, but you must base your confidence in the Lord and believe what He says and feels for you. If God loved you enough to form you and want to spend all of eternity with you then you are truly special. You may struggle and you may not be perfect but you are special and you are loved by the King. 

If you're feeling confident in a situation because you know that you have hope because God has promised it for you, that's good. If you have self confidence because you are you that's good, too. See God loves you, and though He loves you the way you are remember He refuses to leave you in your old sin nature. So you can love you, while knowing you are a sinner and God is changing you. You're never worthless, and you're worth the world to the one that Created you and sent His son to die for you. 

What is not okay, is when you take it too far and say, I love me and I can do everything because I am pretty fantastic. If your confidence in yourself is solely based in yourself and not on the promises that God has made then you're no longer confident you're proud. You should openly know and admit that you are nothing without Christ and when you feel you are everything without Him you've gone too far. 

Remember to keep your confidence based in scripture and based off what God says about you and feels about you. Confidence is not a bad thing. I feel, when we define confidence and pride and know the difference between the two we can start learning to love ourselves again. Do not fear confidence, fear pride. A confident man is also a humble man, because a confident man is one that knows His confidence is found in the Lord. 

8 Confessions of a Strong Person

The word strong has many definitions but for tonight I am going to use the following definition.

Strong - adjective: having powerful means to resist attack, assault or aggression.

I rarely go a day without someone describing me as "strong". I have been hearing this a lot lately and the more I hear it the more I feel I need to speak out.

When someone is viewed as "strong" people tend to think they're superior, able to handle more than other people and can handle hard times easily. This frustrates me. I feel this is a misconception about "strong" people and tonight I'd like to confess the truth about being (perceived as) strong.

1. We Are Weak 
Yes, there I said it. We are weak, it's true. We have weaknesses  just as much as every other person on the planet. We look to others for strength to help carry us on. You may not see it, but we also go home at night and cry. We also have concerns and doubts and cannot do everything on our own. No one can.

2. We Face Fear 
Just because you see a person you view as strong hold up in public doesn't mean they don't get alone and cower. I face fear daily. But, I do not show it to everyone because I cannot. When you're labeled as "strong" people look to you. You do not have a choice but to rise above and show everyone else it's going to be okay. The only difference in a "strong" person and a "non-strong person" (whatever that means) is we have people looking to us to show them what to do. When we fail, we don't just fail ourselves but everyone else around us. We just aren't allowed to let our fears win.

3. We Need To Be Comforted Too 
Just as people look to strong people for comfort we also need to be comforted. We can't be strong all the time. It means the world to a strong person when they find a person that allows them to be weak. We need encouragement and comfort as much as everyone else.

4. We're Survivors 
A lot of times when I hear, "I don't know how you deal with what you do." or "You're so strong to hold up how you do." I always think, "I don't either, but if I didn't do what I did I wouldn't survive. If you were forced into my situations you'd be surprised how strong you were too." We simply are surviving in bad situations.

5. We Face With The Same Problems As Everyone Else
We're faced with the same fears, worries pains and everything else everyone else in the world is faced with. We simply choose to take the paths we do. Just as we all have to choose everything we do, we just make a choice to be "brave".

6. We Don't Know Why We're Strong 
Just as some us are wired to be compassionate and some of us are wired to be comical we're just wired to be strong. I do believe to a certain extent we can all choose to be strong. But to those of us who come out the womb that way, we just are wired to be like this.

7. We Are NOTHING To Be Jealous Of 
If anything else, we are people you should be thankful you're not. To prove strength you must overcome bad situations. (I am using the term bad loosely.) But strength comes a lot of times out of trials pain and heart ache.

8. We Need Breaks
Please understand we can't always be on. Because we're human and plagued with the same problems as everyone else we can't always provide the help or strength you need. We don't mind helping as much as we can but don't be mad when we can't produce the strength you need. We also need rest and to restore ourselves.



I'm sure there are more confessions other "strong people" feel so please comment them below if you have anything to add.

If My Life Were Ever Dependant On My Ability To Make Myself Mad I'd Be Dead

 Hey Guys... I've been quiet recently and I apologize. I have had a lot going on, none of which I am ready to discuss. I will soon, just not now.
Anyway... today's thought's a bit random and a bit shorter. In the past few weeks I've faced a lot of disappointment and have faced a lot of events to cause me to cry and be angry.
When I'm mad I like to find healthy ways to take out my anger. This week has been a bear. I was looking forward to having some time today to kick my soccer ball (Ted, yes I got bored and named my soccer ball) to let out some steam.
The thing with me and soccer is if I'm not feeling semi mad I have no power in my kick and very little control.
People tend to think because of my loud, expressive and abrasive personality that anger wouldn't be something that would be a problem for me. Yes, I am moody, and yes I can get upset {seemingly} easily that I am much tougher than I am. I am tough and I value strength but I am much weaker than most people would be lead to believe. And, I am much happier than I appear.
But, my happiness comes from a place that many would find hard to believe. 
As, I tried to kick my ball with all of my might I couldn't do it. I tried to think of everything that's ever caused me pain, all the aggravation from the week and by the time I ran to the ball I had forgiven all the wrongs and was just so happy to be outside. Which in turn, I would get angry because I couldn't get angry but then the sun shined on my face and I forgave myself and just couldn't stay mad.
The reason why if my life if is ever dependent on my being able to force myself angry I would die is because I can't help but to forgive. In order to truly make me mad, one must put forth much effort and even then I am not filled with anger but with pain and sorrow for how they've hurt me. My anger turns into sorrow instantly and my sorrow turns into forgiveness.
Jesus preached time and time again on forgiveness and He's right we must come to the place where we can forgive. I feel as if His forgiveness of our future sins is why He was and is able to love us so much. Anger creates animosity and hatred. Pain creates sorrow for the ones you loved that have hurt you. I'd rather be filled with sorrow that with Jesus I can overcome than anger and hatred that will grow into nothing but miserableness.
If you're struggling with anger or sorrow, don't let it consume you. Find it in you to forgive rather than live a miserable life.
For I am thankful, that I cannot force myself angry. I'd rather die happy than live mad.

The Path Not Yet Traveld

Today, while on a hike with Justin we opted out starting a second trail and instead going into a creek. The water was freezing but for some reason so very refreshing. While walking through the water I enjoyed the freedom of no shoes and being one with nature. I  also began thinking deeply like I often do on hikes. 

I don't know what it is about nature but it causes me to create thousands of useless and tacky metaphors and similes. Today's was, "Sometimes life doesn't require us to take the path less traveled it requires us to take a path not traveled yet at all." Corny, I know, but there's truth to be found. 

Walking through the creek, isn't a path intended to be taken. It was fun, but not the intention of the trail. Well, life's like that for all of us. 

We see trails of people before us, perhaps our parents, and we feel we need to follow the path already set. We avoid the freezing cold watery paths because they're not where we think we're supposed to be. 

But what if it's exactly where we're supposed to be? What if in life, we're meant to take the trails that are more difficult and no one we know has gone before us in that same path?

I'm at a stage in my life now where I think that's exactly what we're supposed to do. 

The paths not traveled yet are scary but are the exact paths that lead us to the destination we want. Our parents are not us nor are we them. We need to feel brave enough to travel on our own and not stifled by our fears and doubts that we go and do what's comfortable. 

Comfort has never created anything great. When we reject creating our own paths we reject our inner desires and the growth we're supposed to achieve. Our own paths are rocky, wet and not yet molded. They're dark, long and seem never ending because no ones been there before and that's okay. 

I have no idea what my future holds, I have no idea where life will lead me but I do know that if I refuse to search I'll never find. 

Am I afraid of what lies ahead? Absolutely. Do I think I am going to mess up? Absolutely. Will I ever regret taking my own path and following what's right for me? Absolutely not.

Like I said, I have no idea what my future holds. But what I do know is that my life is my own as is my future. Therefore my path will never look the same as anyone else's nor will yours. Embrace the beauty of your unique path. Carve your name in some trees along the way. ;) Make your path one you're proud of and completely your own. 

I'm not sure the exact purpose of this blog. Maybe, it's to convince myself to over come my fears. Maybe it's to convince someone else struggling with starting their own path that it's okay. Or maybe, it's to let the other wanders out there know they're not alone. 

Your path may look scary at first, it may even require you to get muddy and even get your feet legs and butt soaking wet in icy cold water. It's not going to be easy and always pleasant but it will always be worth it. 

Get to walking and get to making the best life for you, for only you have the ability to figure out and find what's best and will work for your life. Well, while using God of course. He knows all, but you gotta trust Him and travel where He calls you to go. :) 

It's Not About What We Have, It's About Who We Have

Sometimes in life, we need reminded that the love we invest in others and the love we receive from others is much more valuable than anything we could ever buy.

I love this picture, I have it framed in my room. It reminds me that this world is big but none of it matters if you don't have anyone to enjoy it with. 

My Bible reading tonight brought me to the book of Ecclesiastes.  I do not think this was coincidental. 
Recently, I have acquired some rather expensive dental bills on top of what seems my never ending student loan debt, car debt and every other bill I have. 

I unfortunately don't make enough to cover everything and have any disposable income... But, I've reminded myself daily of Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. And, Matthew 6:25-26 Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

I struggle horribly with anxiety. It is easily my biggest struggle in life. In fact, I cannot remember a time in my life where I didn't have frequent anxiety attacks. I have had/have them so frequently that I have trained myself to remain fully functioning during the minor attacks. So for me, I have to not only remind myself of those daily, but sometimes hourly including every hour of the night I awake from the anxiety that plagues my mind. 

Anyway, moving on... I tell you of the issue because I have found something else that has helped me with my anxiety and that's in the book of Ecclesiastes. If you're unfamiliar with the book, the first chapters discuss the issue of vanity and where you're putting forth your energy and work effots. The book states clearly that we come from dust and will turn into dust. Nothing in this life that we have gained will come with us when we die. 

Don't get me wrong, I do think we should all work hard. I do like nice things myself (and probably more than I should). But when we're working hard and dealing with all that stress and anxiety, is it really worth it? Is the new phone, shoes, car etc. worth the extra stress? Again, do not misunderstand me here, I do think you should work hard. But what I do not think, is that you should work so hard for things in this life that will only fade away like our lives eventually will.

Think about it, nothing we earn will ever come with us. But, there is a way we can "live" on... and that's through those we invest our lives in. People, people we mentor, people we give birth to, people we marry, people we're related to, people we love... that's how we live on. We live on in the people we love. We're all contagious to some extent. 

I have seen bits of me living in my siblings. My sisters favorite thing in the world is sunsets. Guess who else favorite thing in the world is sunsets? If you guessed me, you were right. She mimics me in so many ways and I love it and hate it at the same time. 

Tonight, I had to come to the realization that all of the wants I have will never end. No matter how hard I work if I am only working for stuff there will never be enough stuff to make me happy. It's my own self worth , relationship with my savior and sharing of love  by investing in others that will make me personally happy.

I do not say all of this to bash people that work hard to earn a lot of money. I do not judge nor see anything wrong with working hard and financial success. But I do say this as a reminder to those rich and poor that it is not what we have it is who we have. 

I do not have much but I do have many people. I decided many years ago that I was going to invest my life into little ones I love so dearly. When I stop to think about life, God has already promised me all of my needs will be taken care of. I will always have the food I need to survive. So why do I need to worry about having extras? I have abundant love from those around me daily. 

No matter how much money I earn to pay the bills off quickly and how stylish I look none of that matters in the end. None of it will come with me. But what does matter in the end is the ones I've poured my life into. I hope to be known for my love and compassion towards others. I would hope that I have been able to set an example many can follow and be proud of. 

If you're like me and bogged down by financial struggles remember this, your needs will always be taken care of. You may be hurting and struggling but money doesn't define you. No matter what state of life you're in you'll always have people to love and impact. You can always choose to make a difference in someone else's life. The success of helping others is more gratifying than the media portrays. 

Your wealth doesn't make you successful. You're still a winner when you choose to give and help others. Don't ever feel that you have to earn money to earn love. We're all lovable no matter what our bank says. 

And remember, money can always be re-earned but people cannot.