I, like many others, struggle with low self worth at times. I am not overall an unconfident individual. But there are areas in my life where I am completely lacking all confidence and my self worth is shattered. But, I, like many, have the choice to build myself up (rather, Let God build me up) and not to stay in the terrible places low self worth can take a person.
I think the lessons that I am learning now can help other Christians. And I think, I have figured out, in part of why it is that Christians can struggle with low confidence levels and in part, how to fix it.
As a Christian we continually read our Bibles and come across verses like:
- Proverbs 8:13 "The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate."
- Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
- Isaiah 2:11 "The eyes of the arrogant man will be humbled and the pride of men brought low; the LORD alone will be exalted in that day."
- Psalm 10:4 In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
- James 4:6 "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
- Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
We read these verses and then try to run away from pride. We see how much God hates it so much and we run as far as we can. But sometimes, we run so far, that we run ourselves into a pit of no self confidence.
**I challenge you to personally read over all the verses to do with pride and humility after reading this post, but for now the ones I've provided will suffice. **
When we come across verses telling us God hates something, we should immediately stop, reflect, repent, pray and make sure those qualities aren't found in our hearts.
When we read about how much God hates pride, and loves the humble and meek we automatically set out to rid ourselves of all pride and increase humbleness. Most times we set out on this task, without any clue as to what pride means. And as a result, we crush our confidence which is the exact opposite of what God wants us to do.
To understand pride, we must first know the definition of pride. According to Merriam-Websters Dictionary Pride is defined as: (noun)
1.:a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people
2.: a feeling that you are more important or better than other people
Confidence however, is defined as: (non)
1.: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something
2.: a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something
3.: the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true
Clearly, the two definitions are different, yet on our quests to rid ourselves of pride we Christians often strip ourselves of confidence for fear that we're erring on the side of pride.
When a difficult situation arises it's okay to think; "I can handle this because, I have God on my side and when I am weak He is strong. I am confident that I can handle this situation because Christ believes in me and through Him I can do all things"
It is not okay to think; "I know I can handle this situation because I am capable because I am awesome and I can do everything because I have prepared myself for this."
Pride and confidence are two different things that I feel Christians often confuse for the same thing. Confidence is a good thing and we shouldn't fear it when we internally are feeling confident. How do I know it's a good thing, because God has told me, and you and the world over and over again.
- Hebrews 10:35-36 "Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised."
- Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
- Proverbs 3:26 For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught."
- Psalm 139:13-14 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
You see, God has great thoughts of us. HE LOVES YOU, say that aloud. He does, He loves you, He loves me, He loves us all equally. His thoughts of us are good. We are to strive to be like Jesus, and if Christ believes in us we should believe in us. We should know that we can be confident because we are confident in the one that made us, the one that made us wonderfully.
It is okay to be confident, but you must base your confidence in the Lord and believe what He says and feels for you. If God loved you enough to form you and want to spend all of eternity with you then you are truly special. You may struggle and you may not be perfect but you are special and you are loved by the King.
If you're feeling confident in a situation because you know that you have hope because God has promised it for you, that's good. If you have self confidence because you are you that's good, too. See God loves you, and though He loves you the way you are remember He refuses to leave you in your old sin nature. So you can love you, while knowing you are a sinner and God is changing you. You're never worthless, and you're worth the world to the one that Created you and sent His son to die for you.
What is not okay, is when you take it too far and say, I love me and I can do everything because I am pretty fantastic. If your confidence in yourself is solely based in yourself and not on the promises that God has made then you're no longer confident you're proud. You should openly know and admit that you are nothing without Christ and when you feel you are everything without Him you've gone too far.
Remember to keep your confidence based in scripture and based off what God says about you and feels about you. Confidence is not a bad thing. I feel, when we define confidence and pride and know the difference between the two we can start learning to love ourselves again. Do not fear confidence, fear pride. A confident man is also a humble man, because a confident man is one that knows His confidence is found in the Lord.
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