Typically I refrain from posts like these because I am not much a fan of being viewed as a victim and I absolutely hate when people do things for me out of pity.
But, I've been struggling with the pain that comes from rejection a lot the past month, and I know that I am not alone. I also know this pain can be one of the most hurtful pains an individual can feel and a lot people are afraid to express their pain to others. So, it is out of my desire to let others feel they're not alone and to help as many people as I can I've decided to write on this topic.
When it comes to rejection, I've experience a LOT of it over my life time. In fact, I deal with the pain of feeling rejected every single day of my life. Every single day I have to fight off the horrid thoughts that come with and rise above.
Not every day is bad but everyday I fight the demons off to some degree nonetheless. I've dealt with rejection that I've realized in the end was for the better. Rejection like, not getting the jobs I so desperately wanted; but in the end realized that they weren't the right fit for me after all and I ended up right where I was supposed to be all along. This rejections is the easiest to overcome, because with patience and a little bit of time you see the good in being rejected from something you wanted. At first it hurts, but this rejection prepares you for other rejections and allows you to see the good in a bad situation. I don't so much mind this form of rejection as I do the others.
I've dealt with the rejection that comes from a family member that should love you, reject you and disown you year after year. Rejection from family members is a type of rejection that I've yet to be able to figure out the good in. This rejection is raw, every time you are reminded of this pain you're hurt as much as you were the first time it happened. This form of rejection hurts deeply down to the core and is one I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy.
Lastly, I've dealt with a form of rejection I often debate may be worse than the previous form I mentioned. This is the rejection that comes from extending your heart out to others, and letting your walls down only to have them crush you all over again. This rejection is terrible because you honestly try to put your faith in others only to come to find out they never truly cared all along. This is the most relevant form of rejection in my life at the moment and it hurts - it just hurts.
Even though I've yet to be able to figure out the good that comes from the last two forms of rejection and I have figured out ways to handle being rejected.
1. Find Faith
I don't know how people make it through life without faith of some form. I couldn't do it - I just couldn't. For me, it's the reminder that my Lord loves me, and has bigger plans for me that gets me through everyday. Without His love I couldn't do it. Find faith, maybe not my faith, but faith and faith alone is going to be the best and sometimes only thing that can get you through.
2. Keep Trusting in Others
Be wise and don't give your heart away easily but you have to keep trusting in others. For every 10 that have burned me and broken my heart I've gotten at least two people that I couldn't imagine my life without. Sometimes you have to sift through the dirt to find the diamonds that make life worth living. The pain of the rejection I've received from others may have burned badly but it was worth it to find the gems that I have found. If you keep the walls up you're never going to find the few good ones out there.
3. Make a Goal to Create a Strong Family of Your Own
When you come from a life of rejection the only thing you can do is strive to be and do better than what you've come from. You're never going to be able to control what others do to you and what you've grown up in but what you can control is what you do and what your family will experience. If you're hurting from the feeling of loneliness you've got to press forward with the goal to create a family life where these problems vanish. Make it a goal to create a strong family unit of your own and do right by others when they don't do right by you.
4. Cry When You Need to Cry
This is the hardest lesson I've had to learn and I still struggle to learn it daily. Bottling up your feelings will only hurt you more. You can't keep this pain inside, you just can't it'll eat away at you at night and will find you when you're most vulnerable. Let the pain out, just let it out and cry. Sometimes just crying and venting is all the healing you need.
Life gets hard for us all, and being rejected hurts badly but just remember to keep pressing forward. Stay hopeful, because without hope all meaning is lost. Don't spend your life suffering from the pain only to miss out on the beauty that will once come from your trials.
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